He hated American Beauty – NO SPIRALLING DOWN movies! I sometimes wonder if he saw the future. Sometimes I think he catches a glimpse of his life, of what is happening and knows that he is living that – his life spiraling down! And when that happens he is angry, frustrated, so hurt and he lashes out at me and everyone around him trying to help. He doesn’t want help, he wants to be left alone, independent, a man who set his own course, called all his own shots, he wants his life back. He yells, he swears, tells the staff off and I can see them wearing out as well. Last month Gilbert said he couldn’t do it anymore. He came back, but only for early morning – one hour to help Al get dressed and ready for the day. But each week I expect to hear that he won’t come any more. Then 3 days of just perfect, each day upbeat, going, doing. Another good morning and then at 1:30 staff is calling me. He was in a great mood, had lunch, sitting outside enjoying the sun, he was playing with the cats and then just walks off. She calls him back but he won’t stop and when she tries to follow he turns on her, swearing, telling her off. And so I leave work. Again.