my new normal

Feb 27/16 Al has been in care for over a year.  As I promised myself, I do not go every day.  I have a life now, or at least I am trying to.  Mostly I think I do.  But not one I envisioned.  Its not what I thought my life would be, but its ok, lots of time it is good.  and without a doubt, on a daily basis it is easier.

I am starting to travel again.  Nothing over a week or so. I find it hard to be away from him for very long.  Huatulco last month, but uneaasy for me as the cell service is not great and even though I know I cannot be at his side in a couple of hours should the need arise, I dont like to be unaccessible.  An the trip was good, great area to relax, perfect weather, excellent companionship with friends but something missing.  Just those little minutes when his bright red snorkle is not close by, when he is not dozing under the palapa, not trying to speak his poor spanish.  Not there. 

I keep busy.  Lots of house projects to catch up on, I try to see friends, to spend more time reading (actually can read for 1/2 hour without falling asleep, I am weaving more. 

His day is the same every day.  Up early as he has all his adult life.  cleaned up, dressed, eat, walk the hall, walk the hall, walk the hall.  daily diversions including going out with support staff I still have for two hours a day, on the weekends we go for a good walk weather permitting.  He still likes walmart!  but if left to his own devices he is walking again, or sitting and talking to himself.  drifting farther away. 

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