Life continues

Oct 28/14 Since the verdict of Alz was delivered I have made every effort to not let it rule my life.  To not spend 24 hour a day with Alzheimers, to acknowledge that while his life was basically over, mine was not.  I have tried faithfully to keep weaving, reading, meeting with others who are NOT associated with Alzheimers.  And I have done this for over 7 years.  But I can feel IT encroaching a little bit more every day, barely an hour can go by without a phone call/and email/a thought/a memory.  The need to find out this info/update that/contact this person/change plans.  All for Alzheimers.  He is slipping away regardless of my every effort.  I would advise anyone else in my shoes to get him into community care, to step away, to start rebuilding their life.  But it always feels like punishing him for a crime he didn’t commit.  He is as sweet now as he has ever been.  Kind, quiet, unassuming.  Making every effort to not be “a bother”, still trying to be a companion. Trying to visit, to be funny.  He is easier now than 6 months ago.  He just cares less, in some ways has given up.  If I ask him to do something, or to NOT do something he just says OK  and then apologizes “I didn’t mean to hurt anybody”.  “You’ve never hurt a person in your life, its not in your nature.  Don’t worry about it.  I’m sorry too.”

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