Rambling on

May 15/11 I always think I will get on here more often, but here it is - a month. Life is just busy. Al was all lined up for a new test drug in Calgary. New CT scan, new cognitive tests, blood work, urine sample....but the research nurse misread the directions and Al had to be on Aricept for 3 full months, not 2 and so he is out. I know it was an honest mistake but I am still mad and it has been a couple of weeks. The aricept is like taking nothing. I don't think it is near as potent as the Reminyl - or Al is just getting worse. Don't know, I feel like I can't decide ON ANYTHING. I am now wishing I had taken him to Cancun last month for the CCSVI. I really don't think it would hurt. Also, people are starting to look at him now. I can see it in their eyes. Something/someone has tipped them off and they are questioning but don't want to come out and ask. Are they all just pretending he is ok so as to not hurt my feelings? They are not sure, and just don't want to ask. The lawn is a dead giveaway. First spring mow and he no longer sees the overlaps (or lack thereof) so strips of tall grass. But always, always, the same mellow, sweet attitude. I am lucky with that. And he still really likes hockey so that is good.  But we are still insuring and registering 3 vehicles and I can only drive one at a time.  I feel like my plate is full now.

April 13/11 Crossing the line, I can feel it. Its 10X easier to do it myself than coax/allow/help him to do it. But I know the cost too. Slippin just a little bit more, its just getting a bit harder and the more I "help", the less he does. Even when I step in, I know I shouldn't but I just don't have the time, the patience. And then of course he does something, and I am reminded how very competent he is still. This sucks.

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